I awoke at three am with the thought; “these are the times of our lives.” It is suppose to mean we are at the peak and having just one heck of a time, as in “We had the time of our life.” You know you heard it a dozens of times growing up. It’s what Aunt Carla said about the trip to the beach or you may have said about the family vacation with the kids to Florida. But I’m thinking of a different time; the one on TV, right now.
If like most boomers you caught the watch the evening news bug as a child, lost it as a teen and slowly regained it through your adulthood, you’re not alone. In fact I can assure you there are millions of us watching the evening news. And demographically we are all in the same age bracket. How do I know this for a fact? The commercials. Commercials are so specifically placed anymore, that running ones to an audience that they are not meant for could cost millions. And regardless of what we think of big corporations errant spending; spending millions on commercials that miss their target audience is taboo big time.
From what I see, we boomers are in real trouble. Let’s start with the feet. Many and I mean many of you must have restless leg syndrome. What is that? Well, its not athletes foot as I thought it might be the first time I saw the add. But after the umpteenth time realized that your muscles I your legs at the end of the day get real jumpy. In fact its disturbing you so much you have gone to your doctor and demanded a cure. Most of us are also leaking in some way. Men have the going and going problem, but now have realized that it was just a growing problem. Prostate thing. You ladies are well, covered for Tai Chi with the new depends. You get end of pipe solutions, while us men need to go total internal. The copper pipe robots are a hoot. Love to take out a blow torch and loosen some other fittings.
We both can’t eat after seven anymore. Nor can we have sex with out the assistance on an “ED” aide. Thank god we have an acid reflux solution or would life be worth living at all: Did you know that “ARD”, causes permanent damage to your esophagus? If not, you will if you watch the news long enough. And to top it ail off, we can’t sleep anymore. To cover all the bases, they ask if we go to sleep then wake up early or can’t sleep then fall asleep, or the best part, do we wake up tired? Good lord most of us work six day weeks and spend the rest of the time trying to get our own stuff done. No wonder we are tired. But don’t worry there is a non prescription sleep aide out there just waiting for you. Ask your doctor.
So as you can see. We are tired, leak, have restless legs, ED, ARD, PMS, post and pre and oh yeah I almost forgot,; need to call a financial planner. By the way if you’re thinking why would I need the last one? Well, your probably going to inherit some money eventually from an aging parent you also are in need of taking care of so never mind when the credit cards say your broke. It’s just a temporary problem.
Well there you have it. Aren’t we just having, “the time of our lives!” and who would have thought you could learn all this while watching the evening news?