There is a distinct possibility that with the new political season getting into full swing at the same time America sits down to start watching pre-season football that viewers may be in for some co-mingling of the stories on the nightly news. If it were to happen, it may sound like this….
Hey Fans, welcome to the first game of the season here at Archer Daniels Midland Field between the Denying Dems and the same Ol’ Sams Club Republicans. This just in, we’ve got some opening controversy over Coach Carters calling the other teams coach the worst coach in the history of football! What a week he is having. Not only does he have to apologize to the Repubs, he must decide between Hillshire Farms Hillary, the former scapegoat of the Arkansas Whitewaters his premier quarterback and the Illinois pitchman Xerox O’bama, who is a relative new comer to the game but has the potential to bring some much needed youth to a tired looking field of been there done that’s. One bright spot however is Johnny fast food Edwards who is looking great as the Home Depot right tailback and if given a fighting chance could score that wining touchdown.
Don’t call me Carl, Kucinich is still running water for the team and Rent a Center Richardson is looking great as right wing tackle. Joey Bidden again is at left out end. Talks are heating up globally to draft Al foot stomping Gore but no word yet if he will melt to their offers. Special nights for the Dems this season look to be the Carter and Clinton Bobble head nights.
The Sams Club Republicans have had there share of trouble these last few months after loosing their lease on Popularity Stadium and have had to practice in the dark at Halliburton field! Lead candidates for quarterback for them include Mission Accomplished McCain and Go Get’em Giuliani. Both have nicely painted red KFC ties on their helmets and have assured coach Rove that they have their Kinko’s playbook memorized.
The Katrina Foot Locker disaster left most of the player’s knee deep in water and without clean uniforms. Thankfully Gonzales Plumbing drained most of the locker room water out and Jesus’ Soul and Uniform Cleaning was able to get the teams uniforms cleaned and pressed for tonight’s game. This just in, seven players were let go for violating team curfew. The game plan looks to be the same one they have been using for the last eight years; keep your opponent scared to death and you can’t loose. New-comers Huckabee, Gilmore, Brownback and Hagel look to be great team players and baring any injuries will help the team by diverting any attempt to discuss issues such as rising gas prices, the plights of the working poor, health insurance and social security!
Sadly the game lost front line official Scoot and pass the buck Libby early this year for lying on the job but a last minute pardon may have him back running instant replay camera when the season begins. Special nights this year for the Sams Club Republicans look to include Chaney Pacemaker Key Chain Night and Harriet Meyers Grab an Old Bag Night.
It looks to be a great season, what do you say John, “Now here is a guy that wants to be President!”