Time for Santa Conserve-a-claus

             Oh! You better watch out and you better not cry, Santa Conserve-a-claus is coming to town.  Seems a little spin on that song, could teach us all a lot about the world we are living in. You see he doesn’t like to see people cry. It’s time for us all to toughen up a bit if we expect to see any presents underneath our artificial trees this year.          

             Dollar down; think imports up! Global warming bad; think fresh water in Canada! Trouble paying for three dollar and fifty cents a gallon gas; think going to get two more jobs at minimum wage! For those of you with homes in foreclosure or you aren’t sure how to buy your prescription drugs and pay the rent at the same time, maybe you can just hum, instead of singing along.   

             The reason of course not to be crying is that Santa Conserve-a-claus thinks more than likely any predicament you might find yourself in is probably your own fault! Life never really gets in the way according to Mr. Conserve-a-claus.   As we have all been assured he’s made a list and checked it twice. Once through his own computers and then with the help of Interpol! To make the list of course he secretly listened on phone lines and did wire taps. He also monitored conversations and private citizen travel, as well as millions of your e-mails and read a lot of Blogs! He is quite aware who has been naughty and nice and should he really have any concern about any of our behaviors this last year, he is quite capable of showing up in the middle of the night unannounced fully authorized to do a search and seizure of your property! And here is the kicker; if he feels like it with or without a warrant. And because he has all of these shiny new powers, he can take you back to the North Pole with him, and not tell a soul you’re his new helper!!            

            We must all remember that Santa Conserve-a-claus is all-knowing as well. He sees us if when we are sleeping, and waits till we are not awake to come. Like the Supreme Court did this year when they agreed the right of Habeas Corpus for the average American citizen was just a formality that really didn’t need to be observed. Because Santa really does know who has been good or bad and after all, he is the judge and the jury for goodness sake! Yeah I’m telling you why Santa Conserve-a-claus is coming to town!! And least we forget, the refrain goes, “with little tin horns and little tin drums he is coming to town,” much in the way we al marched off to war way to long ago. And don’t forget he is bringing little curly headed dolls that may very well contain lead and when you eat them or kiss them you may suddenly find yourself a cooing! Yeah Santa Conserve-a-claus is coming to town.         

            And finally once the Homeland is secure; we will build a Toyland around our nondenominational Christmas trees! Oh yeah, Santa Conserve-a-claus is coming to town! You better watch out! 


 Getting a lump of coal  is not necessarily a punishment!


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